“I’m so angry!! I bet he hasn’t even brought the washing in!”
“Did you ask him to?”
“Then how would he know if you didn’t tell him to bring the washing in!”
If I got a dollar for the amount of times this conversation has been played out, I think I’d be rich! How many times have you heard this? “I can’t believe he didn’t think of…fill this space”. Has this happened to you? It’s happened to me trillions of times before, but after receiving free relationship advice from my patients that have been in happy marriages for over 50 years, one particular piece of advice that has helped me deal with this scenario has stuck with me…
Men don’t think…like women.
Women think (maybe too much), expect and assume. In our mind, we create perfect scenarios with perfect endings and when things don’t turn out that way we are disappointed, angry and hurt. We take it out on our boyfriends, fiancés and husbands without realising how unreasonable we can be.
However, there is a solution to the headaches we inflict on our partners and ourselves and it’s simple. Take a step back and think…How would you feel if the roles were reversed and you were on the receiving end of your expectations and assumptions? Try to understand their way of thinking, their logic. Remember, no one is perfect, we’re human… not mind readers.
Give it a go, train your mind into dropping those perfect scenarios and replace your assumptions with the ability to communicate with your partner. If you need help… simply ASK for it. If you’re worried/upset/angry about something…TALK about it. It’s amazing how so many misunderstandings can be cleared up with a little chat.
It’s as simple and as complex as that.